Learning Something From the Men

So there’s this blog going viral that everyone is up in arms about, rightfully so I should add. Typically, I wouldn’t want to give a negative and hurtful article any attention, but this one has bothered me, and what’s bothering me, no one else seems to be discussing. The article in on thoughtcatalog.com and it’s called  I Look Down on Young Women With Husbands and Kids and I’m Not Sorry.

To be honest, I thought this was going to be a humorous post, maybe even satirical, but it comes off mean, a little ignorant and very arrogant. The most shocking of lines are..

You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.

The rest of the post is basically saying that having kids and getting married is super easy, and we should stop acting like it’s worth anything. Before, I get into what bothers me most about this post, I’ll give my opinion on the piece in general.

It sounds like a young girl who is unhappy with her own life. Those who shame other people’s “accomplishments” and “happiness” are clearly unhappy with themselves. It’s wonderful that this woman can choose to not be married, not have kids and live a life with a fulfilling career, but what she fails to recognize is that not everyone finds happiness in their job. We do not all feel accomplished because we got a promotion, the same way we do not all feel accomplished after bathing and feeding 3 kids. Everyone defines success and happiness differently, and that is okay. It’s not fair to assume that your way is the right way.

I have traveled the world, got multiple degrees, worked great jobs, been promoted, received tenure, yada yada yada and, uh…didn’t feel “fulfilled”. I felt great, yes, proud even, but it was not what filled my cup.

She may also want to consider the fact that most career “accomplished” women were raised by dedicated mothers, who are often married. Let’s not even get started on the fact that countless women are happy and successful at being married, raising kids and working. My pediatrician actually has 5 kids and opened up her own practice 15 years ago. Or, what about people who choose not to have kids or fancy-paying jobs? What about the people who love life living like a vagabond and just enjoy life itself? This is why I think this must be a young author with little life experiences. She doesn’t quite grasp the vast variety of values and lifestyles in our world.

Okay, but now what really bothers me is this line…

I hear women talk about how “hard” it is to raise kids and manage a household all the time. I never hear men talk about this…Men don’t care to “manage a household.” They aren’t conditioned to think stupid things like that are “important.”

If men never speak of this, it is because they do not do the housework, aren’t married or do not have children. There are many men who are stay-at-home-fathers who actually blog about these exact things every day. This got me thinking though… one thing men do not do or talk about is how much other men suck. There are no “daddy wars” happening today, only “mommy wars”.

I am so sick of all the Mom vs. Mom, breastfeeding vs. formula, stay-at-home vs. working, kids vs. no kids, vegan/gluten-free/dairy free/soy free/gmo free vs. whatever-the-hell-my-kids-want-to-eat Mom fights going on everyday. What are we doing to each other? Why? Why are we so obsessed with wanting every other Mom or woman to live, think and behave just as we do? Are we so afraid that what we are doing is wrong we must prove that every other women is actually doing it wrong? Does that make us right?

Of course not. We have to accept the fact that mothering, like teaching, or like living, does not have a “right-way”. There are many different paths and styles that lead to success. We must not all be alike to be successful. So, today, and perhaps today only, we take note of what the men are doing and stop bashing other women. The happier we are for each other, the more love and support we show one another the better off we will all be in the end.

Cheers!

 

Paper Anniversary

wedding

 

Yesterday was mine and Husband’s one year wedding anniversary! My gift to Husband was a trip to NYC with many rooftop dates a few weeks ago. All I wanted from Husband was a finished bedroom to sleep in when I got to our new home. I came home Saturday night to a freshly painted bedroom, a new bed and a new occasional table built by Husband and my Father-in-law. It was the perfect gift, and I didn’t expect anything else…except a day of relaxing with Husband, and a card, and maybe breakfast in bed…

Sunday morning came and Husband did make me breakfast in bed. He also surprised me with a bouquet full of handmade paper flowers for our Paper Anniversary! I didn’t even know that one year is considered the paper anniversary.

IMG_6381

Belle wanted to be a part of the celebration...
Belle wanted to be a part of the celebration…

IMG_6380

 

IMG_6376
Relaxing outside of our new house

After spending about 4 hours to very slowly shower and get ready for the day, Husband informed me that we were having a paper airplane contest as part of our paper celebration. I am probably the world’s worst paper airplane maker, but Husband kept insisting it would be fun to play and winning doesn’t really matter. Yeah, yeah sure. So, after a distance, height and accuracy contest we added up our points and I was determined the winner. I made sure to jump up and down and yell “I’m the winner” over and over and then gently remind him that “having fun is what is important”.

IMG_6400

Husband gave me rice paper candies as a prize.

IMG_6401

 

We spent the afternoon shopping and made sure to browse the local paper and stationery store.

IMG_6407

 

Husband then surprised me again with a handmade paper bracelet! I don’t know how I ended up with such a creative and thoughtful guy, but I thin he is starting to make me look bad.

IMG_6422

 

We ended the night having dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant with the whole family because that is how we tend to celebrate everything, with the entire family. It was such a nice day and I can’t believe it’s already been one year since our fairy tale wedding day. So many changes  and adventures have happened over the past year, and I’m so thankful to have experienced all of them with Husband.

all year

 

Can’t wait to see what this next year has in store! Happy Anniversary Husband!

Cheers!

 

Featured on Bridal Guide! Woo!

I am not back to my full time blog writing just yet, but I do have a quick post to share with you! Bridal Guide got a hold of our wedding photos from Disney and apparently thought we were an awesome couple. Bridal Guide then contacted me, asked lots of fun questions, and now…a few emails later….we are famous!

Well…maybe not famous famous, but we are posted on BridalGuide.com! They wrote about us, our wedding, and added lots of our pictures to their Real Weddings section. The first page is a couple of paragraphs about our story, and as you click through the pictures there are several more details about our special day.

I love it! If you want to check out our 5 minutes of internet fame simply click here.

Thank you Bridal Guide for sharing our story and making us feel so special!

Cheers!

Husband

Today is the day I will have to transition Fiance into Husband. Whoa.

Today is our wedding day. Since, I am writing this in advance, I will have to assume that everything is going perfectly. The weather is wonderful. The guests are dancing the night away. And we are busy celebrating at our happiest day yet.

Thank you so much to everyone who has helped me plan, kept me sane, thrown us a party, didn’t kill us for being obnoxious, attended the wedding, and love and supported us! You have each made this day even more special than it already is!

Fiance/Husband/Best Friend, you have truly made me the happiest I have ever been. I love you more than this blog can express, and I am so lucky to be marrying you today!

For those of you who are not with us today, here’s some pics to give you a little insight into mine and Fiance/Husband’s 7 year dating relationship.

 

AND the day we got engaged.

Sick of us yet?

Have a great weekend full of love and dancing!

Love,

Mr. and Mrs. Positively Panicked

Mental Pictures

Today marks exactly one month until our wedding day. ONE MONTH!  I cannot believe how quickly this last year has flown by! But, more than that I cannot believe the amount of planning it takes to make your dream wedding come true. Oy!

For what seems like an eternity, I have listened to girl after girl complain about planning their wedding. “I just can’t wait for this to be over!” or “This wedding planning is soooo stressful!” , and the famous “I wish we would have just eloped!”

I was always annoyed hearing these statements. Isn’t this supposed to be the happiest time of your life? Shouldn’t planning a party for all of your favorite people to celebrate you and your fiancé/husband be fun? How can you complain, you are about to marry the person of your dreams, right!?!?

I can honestly say that MOST of my wedding planning experience has been fun, fairly painless, and only a tiny bit stressful. I am not very picky. My bridesmaids can wear what they want, as long as it’s yellow. Actually everyone (guys, girls, moms, dads, etc) are free to dress how they please. I picked my dress in October, the perfect shoes were on sale in November, and I had the BEST photographer do my bridal portraits.

It hasn’t all been easy breezy though. We had lots of mishaps happen throughout the year…

Our photographer who took our engagement pictures (he won the Pulitzer three times!) was a jerk and could care less about us looking good in our pictures. My hair was “accidently” cut 4 inches too short. Disney overcharges for EVERYTHING. Sorry, Disney, I still love you, but we both know its true. To save some cash we had to cut a lot of things we had originally planned on having… hope no one expects cake, chairs, or air conditioning! (just kidding…mostly). And, because our wedding is a “destination wedding”, there are lots of loved ones that cannot make the trip, which makes us sad, but is certainly understandable.

Even though, we have had to make LOTS of changes, we are both cool with this. We have to take public transportation to the ceremony? We can do that. Our cake is going to be sheet cake hidden in the kitchen? Cool. Mother-in-law-to-be wants to dress like a pirate? No problem! As long as their’s food, good music, everyone is having a good time, and the bride  we are the center of attention, we’re happy.

Yup…all of this has been true…mostly….

Up until now. One month before the wedding. 31 days until we become husband and wife. 4 and a half weeks left before every single thing we have been planning, and are still planning, has to come together perfectly.

I have tried REALLY hard to take on numerous wedding tasks all year. I’ve stayed on top of my theKnot.com to-do list, yet somehow I am still left with exactly 1,877,452,221 things left to do, and I only have one month to do them! I really think it’s only fair that a bride gets marital-leave from work the month before her wedding!

It’s not just me either. Fiance is feeling the pressure, and we have been fighting over the most ridiculous things!

Recently a co-worker of mine told me a story of a close guy friend who called freaking out the week before his wedding.  He said he was going to call of the wedding because all he and his fiancé wanted to do was punch each other in the face because they could not decide on the seating chart. He wanted to hurt the love of his life because they could not agree on the seating chart for their wedding! 

Sounds extreme, but I totally get where he’s coming from. *FYI, they did not punch each other, and they did get married.*

The other night, Fiance and I stopped speaking to each other over something as trivial as the seating chart. When we finally said sorry and made up, I decided that enough was enough. We cannot allow ourselves to become one of the “I can’t wait until this is all over!” couples. It’s time to enjoy each moment more moments (gotta be realistic here). After all, this is the only time we will ever get to be an engaged couple and plan our wedding.

You know when Jim and Pam get married? (If you don’t watch The Office, you will not get this reference, and you should probably come out of that rock you’ve been hiding under.) Anyways, in this episode they decide to take “mental pictures” throughout their wedding day to remember their favorite moments.

This is my goal over the next month, take as many mental pictures as possible. The only downside is that you cannot see my mental pictures. Guess I’ll have to do my best to describe them!

My favorite over the last few days was “taken” the night Fiance and I were trying to decide on a song for when our bridal party is introduced at the reception. We want something really fun, new-ish, popular enough for people to know, not cheesy, very dancey, etc etc. This has been one of the more difficult decisions. So, to help with the decision making process, Fiance attached his computer to our big screen, played numerous music videos of our favorite songs, while loudly announcing our bridesmaids and groomsmen.

“Here come Danica and Teddy!!!!” “Put your hand in the air for Natalie and Derek!!!” “Ladies and gentlemen, get out of your chairs for Zoey and Steve!”

I clapped and hooted and hollered for everyone, and it all ended with lots of dancing around the living room.

*CLICK!*

Fiance got most of the names wrong, but we did decide on a song. Next on the list? The seating chart. Fiance, I hope you’ve got another entertaining trick up your sleeve.

Cheers and Best Wishes!