I don’t know why I haven’t kept up with the blog regularly as of late. It’s so often my lifeline as well as my very important connection of each of you, but lately there’s so much life happening that I get in bed and crash. Okay, if I’m being really honest, I get in bed, turn on Netflix, completely zone out, then crash. What I’m trying to say, is that I miss you. I miss you, and I have a quick “how my baby changed my life” story to share. Then, it’s time to crash… Netflix is already streaming in the background.
Luna, my love, my angel child… she has truly tested me in every way this week. I had my first “Stop what you are doing and come home and save me NOW” text to Husband. I needed/need a break from her desperately. I love the kid with every fiber of my being, but for God’s sake child, I need to breathe and maybe even sleep past 5am. Anyways, as I attempted to give her dinner tonight she once again showed me just how well she can act as though she is starving while simultaneously gagging at everything I tried to feed her.
She screamed, knocked the spoon out of my hand, threw her food to the dog, kicked, tried to climb out of her high chair and then begged for more food when I took it away. Finally, I just stopped. I stared at her and said, “Fine. Don’t eat. Just scream. I’ll eat it.” So, I sat and started eating the delicious dinner I made for her. She stared back and for a while we sat in silence. I thought, what the hell am I doing wrong this week? She thought Why the hell aren’t you feeding me cheddar bunnies? Or, so I assume.
She gave up screaming, looked at me a while and started happily babbling. Her babbles made me forget how annoying she was just 30 seconds ago. “I love you, you know. Even though, you are driving me crazy, I love you with my whole heart,” I told her, because it’s true and because I feel the need to tell her this very often. She started babbling back and we began a game of “try to say what Mommy says”. My new favorite game. So, I tried getting her to say “I love you.”
I slowly said, “I” and she very excitedly said “eye!” and pointed to her eye. Yay! She is finally learning her body parts! Now, I was excited and said “nose”, and she touched her nose. Then, I said “lips” and she reached for my lips. Then, I said “ears” and she grabbed her ear. This was the first time she found all four and it was certainly a moment for celebration. We clapped and cheered and said more words and then…THEN she very happily ate the rest of her dinner.
By the time she finished eating I had tears in my eyes. I, as I so often do, found myself just staring at this little miracle that has become my whole life. This little baby that is growing and changing and learning so much so fast. How does this tiny little being make me want to pull my hair out and runaway to Mexico and thirty seconds later make me melt into a puddle of Mommy mush, weeping over her adorable baby?
I think that is the summary of parenthood. They steal our sanity and hearts constantly. They are killing us and giving us life everyday. They are the one and only beings that can toss our made-from-scratch dinner to the floor, yell at us for cheese crackers and make us completely forget it ever happened with one little wet sloppy kiss (or by simply pointing to their eye). They can bring us to tears of frustration to tears of joy in a matter of seconds.
Our love for them is unconditional.
Good thing too. Otherwise, I’d have given up on nap time ages ago.
Plus, they’re pretty darn cute.