Showing Up


I can’t say enough how lucky I am to have such great best friends. Last week, after I lost my Grandma, I received so many calls, texts, messages, etc from my closest friends. They were all there for me in whatever way was possible and sent their love and happy thoughts to not just me, but my family.

The night of the visitation, I was so sick. I couldn’t eat or sleep beforehand and felt l may pass out from sheer anxiety of being in the same stupid funeral home I have been in too many times. I roamed from familiar room to familiar room like a zombie, hugged my relatives and made polite conversation with the many people who came to show their respects. I smiled and talked about my baby bump while trying to force myself to forget the reason we were all brought together.

At some point, I looked to the back of the main room and saw my friend Misti standing with her baby. Relief flooded over me. I basically ran to her and soon discovered the other half of us (our group) would soon be arriving. I have some very close and wonderful friends in Texas, but the four of us have been an inseparable group for a while now.

We huddled together in the lobby where we hugged, felt sad together, laughed together and told stories together. Having them there for me was just as calming, maybe more so, than taking a klonopin with a glass of wine. I was happy they came, but not surprised. They showed up, and I guess deep down I knew they would because that’s what friendship is about, right? Showing up?

Sometimes we drive to funerals, other times we Skype overseas. It’s not always easy to actually be there, but friends find one way or another to “show up”.

After returning to Tennessee, my Mom called to tell me she was writing thank you cards to everyone who sent us flowers and food. She had received flowers from “the BB’s”, but wanted to know who were “the BB’s”.  She assumed from the address it was my friends. I told her that yes, indeed, “the BB’s”  were my friends. Here’s how the rest of that conversation went…

Mom: So, what does “BB’s” mean? Is that like “Best Buds” or something?

Me: Ummm…no.

Mom: Well, what does it mean?

Me: Umm, well…. Braless Bitches.

Mom: I shouldn’t have asked. Although, I can’t say that I’m surprised.


Mom: So should I address the letter to “the BB’s” or the “braless bitches”?

Thanks for the laughs BB’s.

And thanks to all my friends for “showing up”.


P.S. For those of you who are wondering…”the BB’s” is an inside joke from many many moons ago. And, no, I am not going to explain it.