What It All Adds Up To

1 Disney internship

4 Shaun T workout programs

1 Wedding

18 Countries (20 after these next two weeks!)

3 Years of long distance

5 Disney parks

1 Baby

7 Homes

2 Pets

7 Races

48 Road Trips

476 Trips to Starbucks

37 Flights

152 Dinners at Chipotle

265 Dates

6798 Adventures

And, what does it all add up to?

The best 10 years of my life with the one and only person I’d ever want to have so many memories with.

Happy 10 years together, babe.

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cheers!

*That’s 10 years since we started dating BTW.

5 Ways We Keep From Killing Each Other

Husband and I just realized it will soon be our 2nd wedding anniversary and will soon after be our 10 year anniversary of being together. We like to think we win when it comes to relationships…I mean we are a pretty awesome couple, but if I’m being completely honest, it’s not always rainbows and daisies. In fact, it’s more often diapers and bills. In the grand scheme of things we are still  young in our relationship, but when I look back over the years of stupid fights and awkward memories I can safely say we have learned a lot.

Like all relationships, we started out simply wild about each other. He couldn’t keep his hands off me and I fell in love fast. The infatuation with each other wore off eventually and we started fighting about phone calls, dates, jealousy and long distance. A couple of years later we were living together and bickering over housework, jobs and bills. We have traveled and argued about where to go and what to do. Since being married some of the old arguments resurface and new ones come up over bad habits and life choices. Now, we are parents and just doing our best to not argue in front of our baby. I know getting into arguments will never go away. No two people can spend so much time together and not have some disagreements. What has changed over our almost ten years together is how we handle conflict.

The NY Botanical gardens
The NY Botanical gardens

There may be moments when I think, “Nope. No more. I’m running away to Paris,” but those moments are fleeting. The truth is that I am happier with my Husband every year. Even when I’m pissed off, I’d still rather be with him than anyone else. After lots of reflection, here’s how I think we keep from killing one another.

Last Christmas when we were still a family of 2
Last Christmas when we were still a family of 2

1. We tell each other EVERYTHING. sorry boys, but I know every single thing that happened on that bachelor party in New Orleans. Seriously, if you tell one of us a secret, just assume you’re telling both of us. We are so honest with each other that Husband actually came to me one night and told me he “had a confession”. I braced myself for devastating news.His confession?  He went to Taco Bell while running errands and did not call to see if I wanted anything. See? We tell each other EVERYTHING. We have also learned to tell each other when we are mad and why we are mad. this is especially important for me. Being a typical girl, I have the tendency to want to hold onto my angry feelings until they are so built up that I explode over something tiny and he has no idea what I’m actually mad about. Turns out, this doesn’t really workout well for either of us. It’s not easy, but we are getting better at letting one another actually explain themselves, process it and try to relate.

Playing around on some Greek ruins in Apollonia, Albania
Playing around on some Greek ruins in Apollonia, Albania

2. Sometimes we go to bed angry. I do not believe the old “never go to bed angry” phrase people toss around. Sometimes I need to sleep on it. I often wake up feeling much more calm and reasonable. For me (more than Husband) I often need to step away from an argument, take a breather and calm down. Actually, I need this after an argument too. Husband does not understand why I am still angry when we are done with a fight, but he accepts and knows that sometimes I just need a moment to simmer down.

Eating fresh sushi together in Japan
Eating fresh sushi together in Japan

3. We compliment each other all the time. It’s disgusting to anyone not in the relationship, I’m sure. I believe in small acts of love and sometimes a simple “nice ass” or “I’m proud of you” goes a very long way. We thank each other often for the small things we do. Husband is very good at acknowledging haircuts, new clothes and marathon feeding sessions with Luna. I try to point out his many talents and skills (He’s seriously good at everything!).

Celebrating at our wedding shower.
Celebrating at our wedding shower.

4. We love and respect each other’s families. This is SO important. No two families are alike and it’s a challenge to combine them. Loving someone else’s relatives as your own makes the challenging times much easier. Husband is so so so good to my family. Anytime we are in Texas he is helping my Mom clean, learning from my Dad and spending real quality time with everyone. I have never once heard him complain about spending time with my family. I try to be as equally loving and accepting of his family, which isn’t hard to do. I truly love them and have considered them my family for years.

Climbing trees together in Hilton Head.
Climbing trees together in Hilton Head.

5. We are on each other’s teams. I do not always agree with Husband and I know he is not always right (how could he be? I’m always right.) However, I always have his back. I have faith in him and know he is going to do his best to do what his right. So, even when I disagree, I trust he is making the best choice because I know his heart.

Eating cake at our wedding.
Eating cake at our wedding.

One thing that hasn’t changed over the years, we are still just mad about each other. I’m sure I’ll look back on this in 20 years and laugh because hopefully we will have learned so much more about how to be in a happy, growing and successful relationship. For now, this works and I’m sure glad it does. Love that man.

How do you survive your relationships? I’d love to hear about it!

Cheers!

What You May or May Not Know

Alright, everyone on Facebook seems to be playing the “give a friend a number game”. I’ve never played, but I think you give a friend a number, then that friend has to write that many unknown facts about themselves and share it in a status. I typically find these weird game things really annoying because people say things like “I LOVE chocolate/my family/dancing in the rain/blah blah blah blah!” (yeah…we know) OR “I’m actually super smart and talented” (which I don’t think counts…). HOWEVER, this time around lots of my friends have posted some actually interesting and honest facts about themselves. I have found myself reading every single one and enjoying it.

I figure I’ll jump on the bandwagon and write a post about what you may not know about me. I’ve been thinking about it all evening and I have to say it’s challenging. I’m really open on here, so if you read my blog you probably know too much about me already. I don’t want to expose EVERYthing do I? Whatever, I’ll give it a shot..

Here are 10 Things You Hopefully Do Not Already Know About Me.

1. I sucked my thumb until I was six. The only reason I quit was because my sister told me I was going to look like the guy with VERY large buckteeth who pumped gas at the local gas station. (We lived in a small town, so yeah, we knew the guy at the gas station). This poor man’s teeth were scary big, and it freaked me out so much that I hid my security blanket from myself so I could quit sucking my thumb. I guess I’ve always had good willpower.

2. I missed A LOT of field trips growing up because of anxiety, including a trip to Six Flags.  At the time I thought I just came down with a weird stomach bug every time we had a field trip, but later realized it was just lots of anxiety.

3. I was 19 the first time I got drunk. I realize this is old for most people, but I was never interested in drinking until I found out my boyfriend of four years had been sleeping around with multiple girls. Then, I thought, what the hell? Might as well give this drinking thing a try. Oh, to be young and stupid again.

4. Speaking of being young…I was a very “good” kid. I never drank, smoke, did drugs or slept around in high school. I just never felt that temptation. (I did feel the pressure to buy trendy clothes, starve myself, and date certain guys, but that’s a different story.) I was really scared to try anything that could possibly become addicting (except coffee) and always felt very judged by my “friends” who teased me about being a goody-goody. I often felt I wasn’t “cool enough” to hangout with most people.

5. I started drinking coffee when I was 16.

6. While working at Disney World, we did so many stupid things….things I will not share on this blog (most people who work at Disney go a little wild). Out of all the ridiculous and illegal things that happened I am no longer allowed to work there only because I did not turn in part of my uniform when I left.

7. I have a special secret trick I do with my worst behaved students at the beginning of each year. (I stole this idea from Ron Clark.) Here’s what I do…. The first couple days of school I can tell which kids are going to be the everyday trouble makers, SO I call, write or email their parents and say something like this:

“Dear amazing parent, your child has been such a joy to get to know! I am thrilled to have such a great hard-working student in my class. You have clearly raised him/her so well because they are always so respectful and such a great listeners! Love, their teacher”

The parents, who are used to getting lots of negative letters, are in shock and thrilled to get something positive, and the kid is confused and trying to figure out what exactly is happening here. Often, this positive boost encourages them to actually be super students for a day or so, but inevitably they revert back to their old ways and I am then able to send a note that goes something like this home:

“Dear super parent, I’m sure you will find this as surprising as I, but so-and-so has had some trouble listening and following directions lately. I know you expect the best behavior from them and have taught them to be respectful students so I just wanted you to be aware of this change in their behavior. I’m sure that the two of us can work together to get them back on track. Thanks for being such great parents!”

Works like a charm.

8. I HATE when a waiter fills up my water glass or when Husband fills up my water bottle before I completely finish drinking it. I have a weird habit of keeping track of how much water I drink, and it throws me off if someone fills up my glass before I finish. Also, I often have a perfect water to lemon ration and added water just throws everything off.

9. I forget that I put clothes in the washer almost everyday. They mildew and I have to re-wash them. Sometimes, I try to get away with just tossing them in the dryer, but it always ends with Husband complaining that his clothes smell like a toilet.

10. I did not like potatoes or cheese until I was in my twenties. ( I still can’t eat baked potatoes.) I wouldn’t even eat plain potato chips and I didn’t eat pizza for years. Now, I wish I didn’t like potatoes or cheese…

Hope you learned something.

Cheers!