I realize it’s a little late in the blogosphere to be writing about Robin Williams, but I’ve wanted to post this for a few days now and I’m finally getting the time to share. I’ve dealt with depression a little throughout my life, but I’m thankful I had mild cases that were easily controlled with advice from my doctor and exercise. Like the rest of the world, the death of Robin hit me like a rock in the chest and has left me with heartache and many many questions. A couple of days ago this insightful video came out and in a matter of minutes answered some of my difficult questions.
The video below, which I hope you all take a couple of minutes to watch, is vital information for anyone going through a hard time or anyone who knows someone going through a hard time.
For me, this video reminded me of the difficult weeks following Luna’s birth. The advice this man gives is exactly what I needed. I needed someone to sit with me, not judge, not offer advice, just be there… holding space. Glennon over at Momastary has often written about “holding space”. She says that sometimes people don’t need you to do or say the right thing, because there is no “right thing”, but what they need is you, there, holding space, without offering advice or expecting anything.
It’s especially important to know that someone is going to be at your side, holding your hand, entering back into the world with you. Just knowing you are not alone is HUGE. I think these tips apply to friends who are depressed, sick, mourning, going through a bad breakup or anything that has them down and out. It may be short-lived, it may last for months or it maybe on an off for years. As a friend, our job is to be there and remain there, present for the happy times as well as the bad times.
I only wish I would have known how important these behaviors were years ago. I apologize to friends who needed me there holding space and sitting patiently at their sides in the past. I hope I forever remember what I needed in my time of pain and give you all the same in return.
Cheers from you friend,