Before having Luna, I thought it would be incredibly difficult to get up in the middle of the night to feed a baby and put a baby back to sleep. Actually, while pregnant and visiting my family in Texas for Christmas, my baby nephew woke up crying in the middle of every night and I just remember thinking “OMG, I would die if I had to get up right now and take care of a baby!” I sat in my own bed feeling sorry for my sister and thinking “am I really ready for this?” Which is why I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined that getting up a 4am to feed a baby would become the best part of my day.
There is something so special about being the only two people awake. At 4am it feels like Luna and I are the only 2 people awake in the world. Just the two of us spending time together. It’s so quiet…like the quietest ever. I can see the moon sinking lower and lower out of one window, and if we stay up long enough I can see the sun coming up through the same window. I love that just us two watch this together.
I rock her to sleep in the most comfortable chair I’ve ever owned. Duckie sneaks in, jumps onto the arm of the chair and attempts to snuggle us. A few minutes later, Belle sleepily wonders in and either curls up in my lap next to Luna or sleeps under my feet as if she’s guarding us. I almost feel bad that Husband is now completely alone, but I’m sure he enjoys all the extra room in the bed.
While Luna eats I do one of three things. Most often I read from my Nook, but if I’m too sleepy to read I’ll play on my phone because it keeps me awake easier than reading. Other times I just look and appreciate the moment. I look at Luna, so beautiful and perfect. I look at her white nursery with touches of pink. I listen to the bugs and birds buzzing around outside the bay window. The cat tries desperately to lay on top of Luna, then Belle whines because there’s not enough room in the rocking chair and I am just so grateful.
One day I won’t breastfeed Luna anymore. She will sleep through the night and I won’t be as needed. One day she will not want me to rock her to sleep and her room will no longer be full of adorable baby décor. While I’m sure I’ll be enjoying a full night’s sleep in my own bed, I know I will also miss the special alone time with my girl. So, now, even when I’m so exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open (okay, fine, I often fall asleep) while I nurse Luna in the middle of the night, I am grateful. Who knew these middle of the night interruptions would become my favorite moment? It’s certainly not what I expected.