Still Going Strong

My soul must move all over the place!

I had my second doctor appointment today. I had to have an echocardiogram done to check my heart murmur. (No results yet.) I have not felt nervous or anxious about the appointment all week (yay me!) Until last night…

I started getting a teeny bit worried last night, but Husband did his best to derail my train of thought before it got out of hand. This morning was rougher. I was very nervous from the moment I woke. I couldn’t speak as we walked to the bus, and I tried so hard to not let my thoughts go there.

There was a car fire a block away blocking the bus so we decided to catch a taxi. We walked the entire 15 blocks to the doctor’s office without ever getting a taxi. By the time I signed in I was sweating, my heart was pounding and my nerves were not any better.

An echocardiogram is an ultrasound on your heart, “no big deal”. Husband stayed in the room with me and I lay on my left side as the tech rolled goo all over my chest. This would have been okay if I was not scared of my own heartbeat. I have a phobia of hearing or feeling my heartbeat. I never lay on my left side for this reason.

My heart was beating fast from my nerves, and feeling it pound against the metal table made it that much worse! The tech was not very helpful. She kept telling me all about my heart, turning the sound on so I could hear it beat and commented that my hear rate was really quick. I was this close (my fingers are very close together) to telling her to stop and allow me to sit up.

Husband tried to lighten the mood by asking, “So is it a boy or a girl?” The tech didn’t find him very funny. He decided to quietly squeeze my hand instead.

Luckily, it ended ten minutes later. My obvious reward was coffee; there’s a Starbucks directly across the street. THEN, I got another reward: a New Orleans’s style King Cake!!!

I feel much better now, maybe a tiny bit worried about getting the results, but that’s probably “normal”.

Everyday gets a little easier. Baby steps people


6 thoughts on “Still Going Strong”

  1. I had to be checked just as a precaution before I had jaw surgery to see if I had what my Uncle Max died from (I don’t have it), and they had to do a echocardiogram. That is when I found out I have heart murmur too.

  2. I’m sure you’re perfect! Think about positive things. (Also, I have what’s called a “Venus Hum,” which means that when I lie down one valve doesn’t close all the way shut and causes a whooshing whisper. Had it my whole life, totally healthy! And I’ve had an ECG and stress test, too. The tests cause anxiety more than anything else does usually. And I did not enjoy the goo; she pushed really hard into my rib cage with that cold gooey metal. But all is well!!!) Say everything in a positive wording, even if you’re trying to say something bad. Instead of “I’m so nervous about getting my results” say “I can’t wait to finally get the all-clear that my heart is in wonderful shape.” 😉

    1. Thanks Steph! I know you are right, that is exactly how I should think of things! That last sentence is def something I am going to start repeating! It’s not easy to change my negative thoughts so it helps to get some ideas.

  3. I’m sure everything is okay and I am sorry you were so nervous about it. It doesn’t help the fact that the technician was not very comforting either. I must admit..Peter’s comment gave me a good laugh and apparently that technician is devoid of any sense of humor. Good luck and let me know how everything is when you get more info 🙂

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