Do Not Cook Your Socks Above 350 Degrees Fahrenheit

When I was a little girl we lived in a house on piers. I loved our little cozy yellow house with it’s screened in back porch, but living in a house on piers is not always ideal. During the winter the floors were very cold, and we lived in Texas! My wonderful Mom would often put our socks in the oven before waking us for school. (She would put our entire outfit if it was an extremely cold day.) The feeling of freshly baked socks on your feet on a cold winter morning is definitely one of the best feelings ever.

I have carried on this habit, and often bake my own socks when my feet our feeling chilled. Tonight was one of those times. Because Mother Nature is apparently angry with NYC we were hit by a snowstorm today. (I believe the newscaster is calling it a New Easter storm, but I’m not paying very close attention.) Anyhow, it’s winter. There’s no other way to explain it. Last week, we had a summer hurricane, this week a blizzard*.

*I tend to exaggerate cold weather….also the size of bugs.

I did not dress weather appropriate this morning because like the rest of Manhattan, I didn’t think I’d walk to work in the sunshine and leave in a White Wonderland. By the time I got home my little tootsies were wet and frozen. I immediately put a clean pair of socks in the oven and set the temperature to 350. (That’s my standard sock baking temperature.) Then, I began making the world’s largest pot of vegetable soup and a hot cup of tea.

Fast forward 2 and a half hours later: I’ve had two bowls of soup, 2 cups of tea, aanndddddddd “Oh shit!”

I ran into the kitchen and flung the oven door open to find my stiff socks smoking and discolored. First, I was relieved they hadn’t caught fire. Seconds later, I was panicked when Husband came in wondering what the rush was all about. As quick as lightening I took the hot socks out of the oven and threw them in the shower to hide the evidence. I just could not stand one more lecture from Husband about my lack of attention, patience, and carefulness.

These were blue and white originally.

This is why I should never cook!

Eventually, he discovered the socks and solved the mystery. Luckily, he was too busy laughing at me to give me a lecture. Whew!

Now, I’m wondering if this little incident will persuade him to bake my socks for me….

Happy baking and stay warm!!!


11 thoughts on “Do Not Cook Your Socks Above 350 Degrees Fahrenheit”

  1. My RA during my sophomore year of college used to turn on his oven to warm his clothes one time during a very early snowstorm one fall before his 8am classes. I thought he was crazy to use the oven, but he always swore by it. In my junior year of college we had a water style heater next to the tub in the bathroom and I would always lay my clothes on it, so they would be warm after I got out of the shower. Even now I hate putting on cold jeans…it just makes me cold all over!

  2. Just so you know, I used to lay them on the oven door with it OPEN. I never shut it! You truly had baked socks! Lol! Stay warm and safe! Love you!

  3. ha ha…this one cracked me up!!! It also made me think of a Seinfeld episode where Kramer like to go this Italian place and put his clothes in the pizza oven. And also the fact where you wanted to save yourself from one of Peter’s lectures…Scott is the same way!!! lol! I would have hid them too 😉

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